Its short, but it's meaningful. On with the Story!
Enjoy!
Dangerously Close to Falling:
Watching from the sidelines, you see much more than people
think you do. The looks people shoot others, whether they are looks of love and
admiration. Or looks of hatred and disgust.
You see the unspoken truths behind every relationship, with
every person. You can count the secrets you have seen being shared and make
yourself fall asleep. You think that if you were one of those people, the ones
sharing their secrets, you would be a little bit more normal.
But then you push yourself back to reality, scolding
yourself for the dreams of someone who could be seen as normal. But you will
never be normal.
On the sidelines of life, you watch the bad choices people
make, the way they trust the wrong people, getting hurt when the ones they
trusted break it. You see the small cracks in the people’s perfect faces, the
smiles forced and almost breaking. You see the unshed tears in the eyes of
almost every girl walking around the schools halls. You will see the bruises along a boys neck, or
the cuts on a girls arms. You can see the façade coming down. A perfect world
crumbling down, those who are in it are unaware of the damage that is being
done.
* * *
Coming back into a family is hard. After watching the way
teens ridicule each other throughout the day, you have to wonder what the
parents at home do to make their lives a little better.
The mother, in the kitchen, cooking a meal for the night.
The father, standing in the garage trying to fix his car after coming home from
work. The younger siblings, teasing each
other and pulling hair. The older siblings, locked in their rooms and have
music blasting through the walls.
A family that works just like any other. But behind the scenes you see the little tear
tracks down the mothers face and the way the younger children are scared of
their dad. You think you know what lies behind the door of your older siblings
room, but that's until you hear the muffled cries and pain.
You don’t know where you fit into this family picture, if
you do at all. But what matters is that you can see all the hidden emotions behind
their faces. You, the middle child, the one who is yet again invisible to the
world. You pray that it won’t always be
like this. But you know in the back of your mind that it probably won’t.
* * *
When your dreaming, everything is perfect. You get to be in
the life of everyone else. Play a different roll then you do in reality. You
pretend to be the head girl, or a cheerleader. A drama student or one of the
athletic students who win all the awards.
You dream of how you will break the chains of which hold you
down. You see yourself as a star, being
begged to play a new leading roll or to sing a new song and release an album.
You write your own books, that sell out as soon as they hit the shelves. The
way the people of the world know your name, when just a few days before, they
didn’t know you even existed.
* * *
You wake up, flung back into the cruel reality of your life.
You eat the flavourless breakfast, drink down some water. Pack a lunch and head
to school. You face the crowds of kids
who unknowingly walk through you, not seeing you because you blend into the
walls.
You have to ignore your dreams through school You work extra
hard during class, so that you will have a good future. The grades you get though are barely letting
you pass. You see the way you’re slowly falling down, not going to get the
future you deserve. So you push yourself to the next level, almost at an extreme. You get the looks, the ones that say ‘ your
just going to fail’ when really, you just want to succeed at something. You try
to ignore the looks. Even if they are the only looks you will get.
Teachers, know how hard you work, and yet they still want to
push you harder. They see you struggle, drowning in the work, but they still
don’t want to save you with a life line. No, they only help you sink faster.
Much like teens, adults can be cruel too. It doesn’t matter if they’re older,
debatably wiser, they still use the habitats they grew up with.
You don’t want to be here. You want to be in a new place,
somewhere you can start again. But everywhere you look, its all the same. The
same torment is there, hiding in the corners of the room, ready to pounce on
the next unknowing victim. You just hope
it’s not going to be you… again.
* * *
You sit looking back on your life, the way you always
managed to blend in. How even though you were an achiever academically, no on
would notice or care. But as years
continued you would be the one who would stand out, highest marking graduate,
get into the best university. About to graduate, and then poof, I just
disappear. No one knows where to. They
think it is just some random walk about, that I’ll come back ready to graduate
form uni. Then a few months pass, and they still haven’t seen me. I am meant to
graduate in a week, and still people are only just starting to worry about
what’s going on with me. They call but I don’t answer. Eventually the voice
mail gets full, so they call the cops.
The cops ask a lot of questions, like if anyone would want
to hurt me, or if I had a problem with mental disease. Then they ask the
question “ Why didn’t you come and tell us she was missing in the first month
she was gone?” no one speaks then.
The family and friends who went to the police all look
ashamed. But they never did care about me.
* * *
Graduation night comes, and everyone is hoping I’ll just
turn up to get my awards. It was a false hope and they knew it. The night goes by, the principle calls my
name a few times before giving up and moving on. You see the long cast faces of my family, the
way my little sister is crying into my dads shoulder, with our mum.
The police stop by the house that night. They’ve found a
body, they think it’s mine. But they can’t be sure until they get the autopsy
done. Mum loses it and collapses in
hysterics. My brothers try to comfort her but will all know its too late for
that.
* * *
The following day they get the call. It’s not me, its
somebody else. A girl, just like me, same age, height, race. We could have been
twins, if it weren’t for our eyes, they’re the only things that's different.
The family get a quick glance at hope, but then its gone,
because they tell them there was another body found nearby. And this time, it
was me.
* * *
They still haven’t found out who killed me and the other
girl. But they haven’t stopped trying. Every couple of months, another body
will turn up, a girl who is just like us, same age, height, race. But the eye
colour will be different .
I hope they catch him, if not for me but for the girls, the
ones who are just like me. The ones who would be watching from the sidelines
her whole life, seeing everything. It really quite sad how I spent my whole
life thinking I was never noticed, only to be murdered because of the way I looked.
I was close to falling through the cracks into the world I always
wanted to be in, only to be grabbed by the throat and pushed back.
I hope i didn't scare you all or confuse you too much. But with Halloween coming, it was time for something a little darker.
See you all next time
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